When Commercials Work
Some commercials create a jingle to help sell their product. Rarely does a commercial create a generation-defining anthem that changes music as we know it.
Take a guy singing the catchiest melody of all time in my first-thing-in-the-morning voice. Throw it over a sexual synthy bass and some other musicy shit and we’re ready for Jazzercise class. If you aren’t singing this song to yourself as you bathe your children and do your taxes, you’re probably one of those lame shitheads that “don’t listen to music.”
But it’s not just the music. This commercial has it all. Great product shots, men in bracelets, romance. A few of these scenes deserve a special look.
NBC’s The Voice is all like “he’s the man,” and the man is all like “I’m wearing bracelets!” But then the arrow was all like “this is cuter than puppies!”
You’re right, jugs would have been too much. Now let me slide all up on you as we reenact a tender real life moment over a couple bottles of wine. Mmmm my precious Chardonnay.
YOU’RE GONNA BUY YOUR FUCKIN LIQUOR AT ON THE ROX! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? NEITHER OF YOU LOOK AT ME! THERE’S NOTHING EVEN IN THAT BAG! FUCK!
Hopefully, if you’re musically inclined like Mozart and a couple of the Village People, you sang every word of this to the tune of the On the Rox jingle. If you plan on buying liquor again, I’ll see you at On the Rox.