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When Commercials Work

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Some commercials create a jingle to help sell their product.  Rarely does a commercial create a generation-defining anthem that changes music as we know it.

Take a guy singing the catchiest melody of all time in my first-thing-in-the-morning voice.   Throw it over a sexual synthy bass and some other musicy shit and we’re ready for Jazzercise class.  If you aren’t singing this song to yourself as you bathe your children and do your taxes, you’re probably one of those lame shitheads that “don’t listen to music.”

But it’s not just the music.  This commercial has it all.  Great product shots, men in bracelets, romance.  A few of these scenes deserve a special look.

JUST A COUPLE OF DUDES, HANGIN’ OUT

NBC’s The Voice is all like “he’s the man,” and the man is all like “I’m wearing bracelets!”  But then the arrow was all like “this is cuter than puppies!”

MMMMHHMMM

You’re right, jugs would have been too much.  Now let me slide all up on you as we reenact a tender real life moment over a couple bottles of wine.  Mmmm my precious Chardonnay.

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THIS DUDE WITH THE MUSTACHE?, NEXT TIME THIS BETTER BE YOU

YOU’RE GONNA BUY YOUR FUCKIN LIQUOR AT ON THE ROX!  DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?  NEITHER OF YOU LOOK AT ME!  THERE’S NOTHING EVEN IN THAT BAG!  FUCK!

Hopefully, if you’re musically inclined like Mozart and a couple of the Village People, you sang every word of this to the tune of the On the Rox jingle.  If you plan on buying liquor again, I’ll see you at On the Rox.

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  1. January 7, 2012 at 8:41 pm

    Damn, is she cold or just glad to see him?

    • January 7, 2012 at 8:50 pm

      I think they’re meant to be together.

  2. January 7, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    That dude is just slightly more understandable than Biz Markee.

    • January 7, 2012 at 8:50 pm

      There are definitely a few sets of lyrics that I can’t comprehend at all. I think it’s better that way, it leaves a lot to the imagination.

  3. January 8, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    *bass voice* LIQUOR! B)

    • January 8, 2012 at 4:32 pm

      Very suggestive, isn’t it? Clearly a double meaning.

  4. January 10, 2012 at 11:42 am

    That is one cool jiving commercial. He sounds like he already started drinking.

    • January 10, 2012 at 6:31 pm

      You can only sell the product properly if you’re a true expert. Let’s hope that he has.

  5. January 13, 2012 at 8:32 am

    I wish I was that dudes friend. I’d like to go for a pint with that guy.

    • January 13, 2012 at 5:34 pm

      I agree. He’d be amazing to drink with. I’d make him do the “LIQUOR!” thing all night.

  6. January 31, 2012 at 11:08 am

    The face on the white woman is the same face she made when he whipped it out.

    ♫ Where you can fiiiind gargantuan BBC’s’….♫

    • February 2, 2012 at 11:35 pm

      LI-QUOR

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