Peep My Wardrobe, Bitch
Jason and fashion. Two words that go together so well, they kind of almost rhyme. When you’re a fashion icon, your choice of clothing influences a ton of people or some kind of bullshit like that. But when you’re an average slob like me, you can wear whatever the fuck you want. Even to work. Alright, maybe not work if you still want it to be a place that you go.
Let me model some beautiful shit for you. JASON FASHION TAKEOVER.
Are you a dude? Have you ever been on a boat? Well then you’re qualified to wear this shirt. Convince some stupid rich girl with a yacht that you’re her special little sailor boy and KABLOWJIE! You’re getting blown off shore every weekend!
Custom made and handcrafted from the hair fibers of extinct Ice Age mammals, this one of a kind sweater will wow people everywhere that wear clothes. An artist was specially commissioned to create a future vision of me, which you see on the left; smoking a pipe in teal sweatpants on a fishing trip. I’ve never smoked a pipe and I could give two fucks about fishing, but dreams come true in pants so tealy blue. I’m not sure what that means either.
Made from tiny bits of constellations, staring directly into the pants will cause erotic visions of shooting stars every time you close your eyes. A verified cousin of the Star Spangled Banner, the next time one of my pick up lines includes something about having a star spangled crotch, it won’t even be a lie. Only one t-shirt could ever accent pants so galactic and you see it here. If you want to dress like me, hopefully you’re not one of those pussies that’s afraid of clowns.
The finest in mens formal evening wear. This jacket was designed by someone who ate too much 1980s for breakfast and threw the decade up all over some flashy, electric blue fabric for lunch. The multi-colored tassels help give you that Macho Man-on-Ecstasy-at-the-Oscars vibe. If you ever needed proof that you can’t overdose on high class, this is it.
All garments featured here are available for worship by fashionistas around the world.