Home > Humor, Jason's Pop Culture Corner > Findaparty.org


Are you bored?  Are you a loser?  Are you a bored loser that wants to get wiggedy wiggedy wasted?  Then stop crying about the party you didn’t get invited to and find one yourself!

You need to use your super hacker nerd skills and log on to Findaparty.org!  Kablam!  Kablamblowblooblam!

Your Friday night is suddenly above average!  No more Battlestar Galactica reruns!  More like Miller, Labattica, three rums!  Our party database lists everything from the high school house party next door to the ice cream social at the elementary school!

Want to get fucked up with the governor at an official state dinner?  Want to brag to your friends about the hot babe you hooked up with at that random bowling banquet?  Our party finder makes that all possible.

But Mr. Commercial Voice Guy, what if I’m not a nerd?  What if I’m a traveling party circus?  Don’t worry whiny boy, Findaparty’s got you covered!  The fine people over at FloppySoft have created the most revolutionary mobile app in the fuckin’ history of mobile apps!

Want to impress your friends and pull some secret party out of your ass?  Our party radar will help you with that.  It fucking beeps when a party’s nearby!  Does Facebook have submarine-ass shit all inside of it?  NOPE!

Scared that people are going to try and hide their parties from us?  Pfffffffff!  Our high-tech, infrared laser technology can recognize any gathering of three or more IN THE WORLD!  Just don’t blame me when grandma shows up at that weird alien sex party that you just needed to attend.

Drink up  nerd.  You’ll never have a boring night again!

  1. October 28, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    You’ve started a party revolution! 🙂 Going to FB this now 🙂

    • October 28, 2011 at 12:33 pm

      You’re the best! Thank you! I’ve already got my Findaparty mobile app running with the radar out because I’m so siked! Who says siked?

  2. October 28, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    If I had a nickel for every time someone told me “Drink up, Nerd,” I would have enough money from ages 16 to 19 to pay people to not say “Drink up, nerd.”

    • October 28, 2011 at 2:40 pm

      I’m sorry that I brought back these terrible memories for you.

  3. October 28, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    Ha ha ha… I will keep a lookout for you coming to my party!

    • October 28, 2011 at 2:40 pm

      Now that I have the mobile app, I can show up at any party at any time. See you soon I’m sure.

  4. October 28, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    a) how much? and b) I’m in!

    • October 28, 2011 at 7:40 pm

      Believe it or not, the app and website are FREE! I already found a party today!

  5. Zoe @ Pantry and Fridge
    October 28, 2011 at 9:12 pm

    Kablamblowblooblam ????


    • October 28, 2011 at 9:16 pm

      I know, that got me super pumped too!

  6. October 30, 2011 at 7:24 am

    Or you could just brag about being nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award. Chicks dig that shit …

    • October 30, 2011 at 10:12 pm

      Thank you, I appreciate that!

  7. October 31, 2011 at 2:10 am

    I have one of those infrared things built into my nose.

    • October 31, 2011 at 9:34 am

      That’s gotta come in super handy. Being able to smell a party from miles away is truly a gift.

  8. November 1, 2011 at 2:50 am

    The infrared rays could be dangerous. What if they detect a church gathering instead of a party? Will I still get hooked?

    • November 1, 2011 at 7:07 am

      That could always happen. There is a lot of risk involved, you’ve just got to be brave and go for it. It’s any gathering of three or more so it could even be some family eating dinner. You just have to be careful and brave.

  9. November 17, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    No family could ever have a family dinner without me again…

    • November 17, 2011 at 7:34 pm

      That’s a great, cheap way to eat everyday. Plus, being a part of 8,628 families would be fun too.

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