Home > Humor, Jason's Poetry > Fall is Here: A Nursery Rhyme

Fall is Here: A Nursery Rhyme

Fall is here
Fall is here
Time to drown myself in beer
Football, football everyday
Shut up girlfriend, go away
I’m not gonna rake or do any chores
I’ll sit on the toilet ’til I get bored

Oh, Fall is here
Fall is here
Carving faces from ear to ear
Grab the sharpest knife that I can find
The neighborhood kids all run and hide
This year’s pumpkin looks like a monkey
The second one I made is a heroin junkie

Yes, Fall is here
Fall is here
My favorite season of the year
Bobbing for apples until you drown
Pass out naked dressed as a clown
The DJ sucks, he’s wearing a mustache 
I’ll rip his face off if he plays the Monster Mash

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  1. October 18, 2011 at 8:15 am

    Yeah, what you said. Football every day. No this isn’t “my team”. They are all my teams.

    • October 18, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Exactly! Every game is extremely important.

  2. October 18, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    Awesome.

    • October 18, 2011 at 1:32 pm

      Thank you, thank you. I’m happy you enjoyed it.

  3. Robert Frost
    October 18, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    Brilliant!

    • October 18, 2011 at 1:33 pm

      What a prestigious compliment from such an accomplished poet! I feel as if I have finally made it in the poetry world, thank you.

  4. October 18, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    This was epic!!
    How are you not published in books like Robert Frost?
    Its a conspiracy to keep Jason down!!

    • October 18, 2011 at 2:46 pm

      Thank you! Everything is a conspiracy, WordPress won’t even put my posts on the tags page anymore. There must be anti-Jason meetings going on behind every closed door in America!

  5. October 18, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    lmao I imagine you skipping along a baseball field and singing this … now why is that?

    • October 18, 2011 at 5:41 pm

      That sounds about right. Maybe that’s how I wrote this. Maybe I’ll go try this out on a baseball diamond right now.

      As for FB, that’s awesome! Thanks! I’m happy you enjoyed it.

  6. October 18, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    I’m going to have to FB this on my page 🙂

  7. Ryan
    October 19, 2011 at 1:31 am

    jason jason he does it again
    jason jason can you believe it my friend?
    hes done it in winter spring summer and fall
    even james taylor agrees that jason has answered the call.

    • October 19, 2011 at 7:06 am

      Any poem about me is a top of the line poem in my book. First Robert Frost loved it and now James Taylor? Plus, Spencer Pratt follows mr on Twitter. I have so much celebrity support, I don’t even know what to do with myself. Thank you for your poem and continued support.

  8. October 19, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    Your fall rocks! I should be celebrating fall with you!

    Wait, that sounds stalker-ish.

    • October 19, 2011 at 6:25 pm

      No worries, it’s an honor that someone would want to celebrate fall with me or even celebrate it the Jason way. Thanks for stopping by, I’m happy you enjoyed yourself. I tried to make this comment funny but failed miserably.

      • October 23, 2011 at 12:49 pm

        Next time just keep it creepy like mine 😉

  9. October 20, 2011 at 11:44 am

    Jason: You’re my ‘Fall Guy’……and I couldn’t agree with you more! Football, drinking and slashing pumpkins. Kinda makes me wanna throw up the my fist like that dude at the end of that 80’s classic,’Breakfast Club!’

    I’m printing it out!

    • October 20, 2011 at 12:22 pm

      That’s exactly what I do when I get pumped up for fall activities like these. That’s awesome that you’re printing this, my poem can become a family heirloom for years to come. I appreciate that.

  10. October 21, 2011 at 11:20 am

    It fits my family so perfectly, too! It’s as if you know them!

    • October 24, 2011 at 10:34 am

      Maybe I do……… How creepy was that?

  11. October 23, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    I can’t stop reading this. I might have to memorize it. Hilarious! I love, “Shut up girlfriend, go away.”

    • October 24, 2011 at 10:30 am

      Thank you, you’re far too kind. I’ve been working hard to have this poem included as required reading in elementary school curriculum across the country. I hope I’m successful, America’s children could really benefit from a lesson like this.

    • October 25, 2011 at 6:20 am

      MUCH better…

      • October 25, 2011 at 6:21 am

        At being creepy, that is.

  12. October 25, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    That was beautiful; it brought a tear to my eye. Thanks Jason!

    • October 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm

      Any time. I’m happy I can brighten up your fall season with beauty and inspiration.

  13. December 8, 2011 at 11:33 am

    Shut up girlfriend, go away… that’s epic funny. lmao…but I’m a chick that loves football and dated a non-fan the last time. Uck- he drove me nuts and I thought the same thing all the time… I would have done anything to get him to leave me alone during the game.

    • December 8, 2011 at 12:52 pm

      With all due respect to guys who don’t like sports, I’ve never understood that. Like what else are you going to spend your time doing? On a side note, I don’t watch sports non-stop.

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